<~~~ Devilaid's Inner Side ~~~>

Damn.. its getting more and more complicated huh... Well u guys knos wat.. i am like getting headache every now and then.. Well i guess it coz i think too much and the fact that i been stressing out in class.. AARRHHH.. i have Science everyday!! hahaa.. serve me rite for choosing abt medication.. no says its gonna be easy... ALmost everyone says u can't do it.. That u are not capable enough.. WEll, i'll show u ppl... WHo cares anywae.. not doing this for u ppl... Doing it for mum and myself..and of coz for my lil bro.. and all in the family..

Then yesterday i made someone angry.. well, i didnt mean it.. Its just at times when u not in the mood and all, then the person tried to cheer u up but end up u jus gets more stressed up, and in the end u get angry and say something stupid like.. u are the same like everyone.. and make the person angry..and aaaarrgggggg!!!!!! i really didnt mean it u knw..

DAmn.. me and my mouth.. Then i got a late nite call.. someone in the hospital.. damn.. too bad the person is not in singapore.. if not i wld rush there after sch.. AAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!! But he is not.. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! i will prar that the person will be fine.. and he can come back soon..

THere... here got extra ppl typing...Hi, this is Shyda. And I'm bored. Waidah is currently stressed up, as she's having science module everyday! If you were in our place, you will be feeling how we feel too. Ok done!

Kan pelik dunia nie... Dgn senang kite boleh percaye kan seseorg itu... Dan dgn sekelip mate jugak, dgn senangnye seseorg itu boleh memperdayakan kite..

Kenape aganknye.. org2 ni suke tipu.. or in another words.. pijak kepale kite bile kite da baik dgn org tu... ye la.. org lame selalu kate.. buat baik berpade - pade, buat jahat jgn sekali... So, ni ke balasan kite bile kite tak uat jahat ?? pelik kan..

Kenape agaknye org2 ni dapat bile they pijak kepale kite tu?? kepuasan?? atau.. saje je nk tgk org mcm kite derite?? Sialan la kadang2 org2 nie kan...

Yang lain sial ye la bile org2, yg kite anggap kawan, buat sial belakang kite.. In aother words.. is like when a person u trusted, stab u in the back.. years of friendship cld jus gone...Pelik2 org2 nie kan.. They uat hati kite nie.. mcm mainan.. tak suke je.. atau boring je.. main la... try tgk org tu sabar ke die perang...

Ape yg they dapat bile they uat gini??? ape??? 

Today... when i woke up.. i was lazy.. mum n dad had sent my lil bro to religious class then they went jb for a while.. then 2nd sis when to attend a wedding..1st sis n bro in law went out.. let me.. i had to go werk at 4pm.. so i was left alone.. did not feel like getting up so i ended up reading a book..till i realise tat i shld be going to werk..i was actually getting late.. tell the truth.. i am sick n tired of the job, and the fact that the pay suckz and to think my fares are really expensive.. damn it.. so i went out rushing... then mum called.. ask me if i got money... i was at the bus stop.. asked me to go back up n so i did.. still rushing.. then she waited at the lift at the 10th floor.. wit $5..am so thankful for tat.. the rush back to the bus stop.. waited for the bus again.. so then when i was in my 2nd bus..i was reading and listenin to music.. by this time my head is really getting painful.. i had it frm mornin but the pain was nt this painful.. then i stop reading.. and tried to get some Zzzz.. sleep.. then when i open my eyes.. i saw this lady giving bananas to 2 monkeys..haha the area was jus forest.. so i guess there will be wild monkeys ard.. cute... haha...Then when at werk.. gotten down frm the bus.. i felt like puking.. but cant since i havent really eaten.. so then i change to my werk uniform, bought mineral water and snikers..chocolate.. haha.. then.. normal la at werk.. then suddely this cute guy came in.. he is malay but fairer than me.. damn he is so cute.. came to the counter with some shaver.. asking me is there is still those disposable ones.. Since i was so distracted by the way he talk (so the nice..) and how cute he is... i accidentally said no.. oppsss, i am so sorrie... but damn he is cute...hahaha...Anywae.. i still got the headache till now.. and i am already home.. damn it rite... i guess i been thinking too much.. that is why, i cant keep doing this... my migraine have already been getting worse.. and the fact i dun have anymore of my medicine... do u know migraine can be fatal.. damn... hope i dun die soon.. well its in HIS hands.. jus hope its not soon coz i still have a duty to my mum and lil bro.. until he is old enuf, and got stable job.. i wont walk away frm my duty... and especially not when i get my mum to stop werking.. and let her live in peace, i wont walk away frm my duty... life is hard... but we still have to face it...

Well, 5th march, I turned a year older now.. today... Tell u the truth.. it makes no difference to me.. I just turned a year older.. Nothing else change.. But I am thankful that I am able to stand among others, and the ppl I love, and to be able to see them happy leading their life they way the think best... Well... it feels a bit lonely... But I guess it just the same as any other day.. that's why it feels a bit lonely. Well I am used to it.. so I be okie...

Didn't get sleep aft I came back from work the day b4.. Came back a bit late and got lock outside.. HaHa... But I already told mum I coming home a bit late. A bit became more than a lil a bit as saw my old friend at sembawang.. Asked me to follow go eat, since its been a while since we talk and hang out, and to think it was my Bdae..And since I told mum I be coming home a bit late.. I went along.. Eat at sembawang.. so then, we hail a cab..to sent me home first.. so sweet..

Then 5th march..Well, morning, since I can't sleep..I got up from bed.. to the living room.. talk and talk and then... then followed mum go pay bills..buy food for the sisters. Then got home, 1st sis gave me a watch..Thnx.. Then I cook.. like normal la kan.. Then.. aft everything.. mum wen and sleep. and I rested at my room.. Then it gets all bored till I fall asleep...finally..HaHa.. I was waiting to get sleep.. woke up and found a box in my cupboard.. I got this white skirt wit black roses on it.. HaHa from 2nd sis la ni.. Thnx...

Tho I feel bit lonely today, Thnx for the ppl that had wish me happy Bdae thru sms or net or msn.. Thnx u guys...But.. Thnx.. seriously to all.. AHHhhh da tue!! hahakkzzz.. But thanks to all okie.. even if its for just remembering.. thnx alot...love u ppl k..muack muackss..

Waidah

Well, Have U actually ever wonder.. Why these ppl comes and goes as they please.. Weird isn't it.. They come, get to know U, promise to be Ur friend and all that..make u trust them and all.. But then Stab u in the back or just.. leave u.. Disappear just like that.. Weird isn't it.. Ppl... Lies..

At times I wonder why they even bother to be Ur friends when they actually would leave u.. or disappear just like that sooner or later.. And to top it all off.. they actually promise u.. No wonder they say," Promises are meant to be broken." Haizzz...

Then.. It would lead u to this.. Have u ever wonder why.. Why u even believe these ppl?? Have u ever wonder why no matter how many countless number of times ur friends played u out, or promise some things or even the countless number of times u made a friend and they leave u with unkept promises.. u still make new friends and believe them. even when in the end... u know they aren't really gonna kept being there or keep their promise..Well, I wonder why..

Well, I guess its ok to wonder why at times.. Well, I guess we just want someone to be there for us..Especially when we really in need of someone to turn to.. But its just weird how someone could just be there then the next min, they disappear from ur life, acting like hey never ever existed in ur life before.. Don't they feel the guilt? Well, i guess I will keep wonder why.. Till maybe one day, someone give an answer to it.. But I guess, everyone would answer differently to these question..

But if anyone of u, who reading this, might wanna let out some suggestion or opinion to these question or tots of mine.. pls fell free to do so aite.. I would love to read some views of others...

This pic originally was jus plain chain up hands.. not bloody.. on a black banckgrd. Then i edited it... throwing in some tribal patterns and a rose at the right coner...Then finishing it up wit some color.. As in i made the hands bloody... was quite bored with jus a plain one.. HaHA.. its cool wat photoshop cld help u do huh..Cool huh..

If u guys wanna know..this is what i do when i am bored.. If i cant draw or paint.. This is like the replacement to it.. its cool.. interesting to me.. its jus like drawing.. u need to put in ur ideas all together in and make it out.. like drawing.. u get the ideas, ur pencil do all the werk.. and last, we get the final piece.. Using comp, its the same.. get the ideas, we use our fingers.. move the cusor.... and the way we go.....!!!! wohooo!!!

Ahhh.. Holidayz..
Always boring..
Dapat keje.. but i think they don like me...
She make me werk like, one day per week..
Puas Hati tak yah keje kan...
Belohkan!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck these ppl seh..
Might as well u Sack me rite!!
Senang sikit.. got a reason to get another job..
Shit ppl...

Lately kan..
Its been so boring..
Lonely abit..
Everyone is like so damn bz...
Haiz.. nasib ko la waidah!!!
WAIDAH.. UR LIFE IS DRY, N BORING!!!
face it..

N u know wat..
THese ppl keep popping up when they got prb..
Weird kan..
Mcm la aku ni conselor..
But i dun mind....
I like to listen to them..
Jus to be there for these ppl..
But well.. its sad coz not all ppl know i got prb too..
Jus a cheerful gal they see..
Damn...

At times i wish they see the truth..
But too bad.. truth could never be seen...
Haiz..
Looks like my bdae.. gonna be one lonely one...
Hell yeah...
CHill ppl!!

Call me wen u need someone to talk to aiitteee..
Hotline open 24hrs... all nit and day!!
Haha...
But seriously.. call me if u need someone to talk to aitee...
Take care!!

Well,
Wonder what to blog lately..
Been rather lost at times.. weird isn't it..
And my hp charger been uat peragai..
Jap boleh.. jap tak boleh... stress seh..
Then.. ouh have u ppl seen..

The hp, sony ericsson W980i...
Its new.. not out yet.. or is it?
Not sure.. but hell.. like it.. ahhh..
Then...
Nokia 7500 prism,
Has a cool design..
But nokia 7900 crystal prism
Has cool color..

Haha... got nothing better to talk abt huh..
Hehe...
Damn bored la...

This yr..
i guess it would be the same..
It be plain simple..
i dun mind..
I dun need anything basically...
just see everyone truly happy for once...
I got everything i need..
A hp to sms or call, mp3 to listen to...
To my sis and family..pls..
i dun want anything anymore ok...
No i need a hp ok...
haha... Jgn la akak sal bazir duit tu..
haha...

Ahhh.. i jus hope...
Everything would be fine,
Jus hope..
all will be happy...

Hope so...

last u ppl knoe..
i was happy..
Then now..
All have fallen apart..

Weird..
How Happiness ends in sadness..
I cried alot...
Alot.. and alot..

Feeling lost than ever..
Ha.. guess i will forever be lost..
Sad rite...

Damn i hate myself...
hate being me.. hate it...

SOme1 pls help me...
i am lost..

So hey ppl...
How is the new year for u ppl??
This week...
Hmm...
cried alot...

On Sat...
meet yanty, my bestie...
Well we talk abt our stress n all..
She always there for me thanks...
Meet Him too...
He was trying so hard to help...
Thank u for being there for me too...

Sun..
Well updating my blog..
Edit pics..
Ouh and my another best cousin,
Which i am close with...
Fid ( in short ) is coming over!!
Haha.. its been a long time since i meet her...
damn..
missing her too..
So yeah... got to go...
HaHa...
see u ppl ard...!!

Well,
Its been weeks since i last blog..
Sorrie to all..
i was jus bz..
skool started..
And got another special person entered my life..
Well..
Its been sweet, nice..
I cried few times... here and there..
Basically i cried alone..
Well.. i hope he is here now..
Guess he too busy..Busy with everything else...
But me...
Well.. i have to understand rite..
so everytime he call late..
all i cld say.. " its ok"
" its ok.. I paham... "
RIte now... i jus miss him..
Feel like crying..
Wish he wasn't tat bz..
Wish he is here...

There goes my saturdae...
GOne... spending with jus me..
ANd... ME...
ANd just my laptop...
Damn it feels lonely again..

-=- DeviLaid -=-

Today,
someone tell wrote to me this :

Well I'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over,
But a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But your the only one
It's not over.

You can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out...


------------------------------------------------

Well, i guess..
if u look it in this way,
No one understand what the writer wants..
But hey..
i know what he wants..
Well.. answer given to him...
Haha.. some how..
i still cant believe..
i answer him..
what i answer...
But part of me..
Somehow...
glad i did...
What i did...
Some how i am glad..

KEPALE KU SAKIT !!!!

Lately,
There was alot in mind..
I may seen Happy, and cheerful outside...
But Inside...
Can Anyone See???

No...
U knoe why..
Coz no one really care...
There is a few...
But the friends tat Cares...
Out there some where...
BZ...

I guess,
This is life huh...
Busy.. everyone have their own life...
ANd this is mine...
DEspite the sorrow inside...
I smile...
I laugh..
Hiding all the pain and worries...

WHen will this end??
WHen can i jus break down...
Break down to show how it felt like inside....
The feeling of wanting to just shout out...
The feeling of wanting to break down and cry.....

Yet i can't...
Can't...

Just.... Can't.......

Hey ppl!!!!

Okie la, have to admit,
its been a long time since the last blog entry i put in..
OKie, This pics above.. hAHA..
IS actually glow sticks..
was at the beach on the 15..
tat nite i played with glow sticks..
cute huh...haha...
I went to the beach with my sis,
East coast park...
Haha.. n felt aft riding bicycle too.. haha...
It was with my sis future husband family..
they invited me since i knoe them alreay.. haha
But it was fun...
See how happy everyone is...
ANd my sis..
In her eyes, i see that she really is happy...
I am happy for her..
Happy tat she found the love of her life...
** i will put in more pics aiight?? ***

==-- DeviLaid --==

Well,
Its late..
Dated 3 dec 07 today..
1.43 am..
And yet.. i am still here..
Can't sleep jus yet..
A lot been happening lately..

Like losing an old classmate..
Died cause he had an accident..
he was still surviving in the hosp..
then the next thing i knew..
an sms came up..
he died...
Damn... i shld have gone and visited him..
Stupid rite..
" Ryan.. my dear friend.... We, those of ur friends.. ur classmates...
We will always miss u... we all love u aiite... May u rest in peace... "
On the day of his funeral i didnt get to go..
But on that day..
Gotten to know that my uncle sister in law...
ANother words... my aunty also have been buried...
SAd isn't it.. my family only gotten to know when she is already been burried...
This is the at of others...
Who dun appreciated my family.. and yet do tis to us...
U ppl could have been more nice and jus called us!!
but no...
stuborn shit.....
how could u ppl do this....
TO her.... she died.. and u never tell us...
IT was sad...
SHe was very nice...
very........
she cook well too..
she had cook for my 1st sis wedding too...
Was very nice of her rite...
very nice....
" i pray for the best... God loves u alot..."

In jus a week..
I lost two ppl in my life...
This is the truth of live isn't it...
The sad truth of life...
When u lose someone...
U jus have to face it...
Face it with strength..
Its difficult... but u must go on...
It the fact of life...
Ppl u love jus come and goes....
Its ok...
HE jus love them more...
Be strong everyone....
For this is jus....
THE TRUTH OF LIFE......

-=- Devilaid -=-

HAha..
Today.. i deleted MIRC from my lappy...
Its been stressful everywhere i go..
Wonder why seh...
Well i guess its time i quit all the chatting...
Time to go from a local chatter here an there..
to a normal.. sch gal...
Time to jus chill...

Anywae...
My lasted art work nearly completed...
i jus need to buy charcoal and touch up...
FInal touches will be made.. in another 2 weeks i guess...
ME taking my own sweet time to do tis art work...
a picture will be taken only wen it have been finish...
Art lovers.. do keep in touch wit me if u wanna see...
thanks u...

_=_ DeviLaid _=_
+- Living In Simplicity -+