<~~~ Devilaid's Inner Side ~~~>

Well, The day i wen swensen for lil bro bdae.... I got to eat my Fav Ice cream Thingy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BANANA SPLIT.......

Swensens makes good banana split... hehe... i love it alot seh... i really do.. haha.. even if i tried some other type of ice cream there... i still like the banana split.. i got this liking for banana split...

~~* Takes My Heart Away.... *~~

ON the 16th, there is two Bdae, one turned 11, which is my darling lil bro... the other turn....19, which is a nice shortie guy...haha... oppss... hehe....

Anywae, i bought a book for my lil bro.. haha.. i told him he should thank me.. and he did.. then i ask him, where my kiss?? haha.. and he give wet kiss and nearly bite my cheek!!!! Very bad...Now big alreadyso ignor the sis huh..., mum and akak ayu bring me and lil bro makan ice cream at swensen...wooo yum yum...haha... he was like happy giler la.... i guess he just really want to eat ice cream at somewhere so called more grand...Glad that he was happy tho... i still remember when he was so little... kiss him alot hug him toss him... notty boi... but hugable and kissable.. but now.. haha... better dun even get close to him.. hahaha..... Then after that, ard 9+ - ard 10....my 2nd sis future husband bought KFC and cakke... haha... not much of a big celebration.. just wanna make him see that we care n lve him so much.....

All he wanted is this ice cream!! its like i can put this together myself, just buy tubs of different flavour.. so odd.. i guess eating there make it a wonderful time spent...

Just a simple cake.. but thanks to 2nd sis n her future husband... and Thanks for the KFC.. haha

Well, even after the 16th days of fasting, things are still not even halfway done. Like my family have not odered our cakes and stuff, and if its this late, i don' t think my aunt will accept. Wonder how...Then haven't really clean the house, haven't clean the windows and all.. haha... i'm schooling and all, waking up 3 am all the time and all, really getting too tired to do anything else tho... My neck, shoulders and back is aching...

But good news is that one of the days me n my sis have made some cookies... haha chocolate too... haha.

Cookies fors Raye... Made 3 bottles but ! had finish.. haha... since its chocolate coated cornflakes... every1 loves it... Taste great.. haha...

hehe...Served with colored rice toppings... HeHE.. wai can open chocolate shop!!! hehe....

PLain simple chocolate... Cute patterns thoo...

Lastly has choco rice at their bottoms...They taste nice too u know... Very chocolaty!!! haha......that why some when missing... haha

Chocolate cheers me up tho... haiz...I feel bored in class... These few days i can't werk... i really can't... i just feel.. so so the shit up... haiyo..... wats wrong.. i have no idea... somebody save me...............................................................

SO yesterdays i mention that i went out for break fast with the crew, or in which the few closest people fto me rom Rp...We grew closer to each other from the time we gotten to know, in which @ the SAS FOP 07... So we have been close since... breakfast, lunch, dinner, go sch, go home... all together.. haha....

Anywae, this is just to add on to yesterday's entry... Chao!!

Well, today, like i said i went to breakfast so called with the gang...The very first few people that i meet in Rp...HAHA... so.. it was, me, Ros, Ahmad, Mar, Najib, Khai, Su, and of course not forgetting Rid, in which i got to know from Sas Fop Camp 08, not from the first batch like the rest, but we have gotten to be godd friends, maybe i am not his best friend but a good firend. Hehe...It was fun.. haha... Khai, being the joker... And well, all of us are like jokers on and off. Catching up on eah other's life, remebering the old memories, forgeting our fights and of course, a beinging of a new memory...It was so fun.. haha...

Then in between i got time to listen to someone's problem, and another's past. Well, thing happen.. all i got to say, let just take our time , slow down, and try to move on and be try to make situation better.. In life at times, thing happen, sometime it doesn't have a clear cut reason why it happen. but then stuff still happen. We try improve ourself wen we know we are a wrong. At time me just try n try to make thing better even when its not our fault. But at times we do fail, and things didn't go the way we wanted, if that happens, all we should do is, stop, take it slow, and let things just flow for a moment....At times, that's wat i think is the best thing to do. So to the friend, or friends who having kinda problems.. hey, take it slow k, dun rush. Things will be just fine k..l Wat ever happens, hey, u know there is people like me n the rest who still care.

Haiz... so the bored. My first sis bought a bag, in which she use only once, and decided she wanna sell it to my 2nd sis coz it doesn't suit her or something.. haha weird.. she buy, then she sell to 2nd sis, 2nd sis buy at a cheaper price from 1st sis and then lent to me.. haha.. weird huh... haha...

Ouh n next week, my lil bro birthday!!! ouh n rasyid too.. same date.. haha... weird...i bought him a gift, its a book, true singapore ghost storie 18, lastest one i think. i know he like to read that. Btw i wanted to read it too. So i tot i bought it for him. Haha.. wanted to read it first but it be rude of me. So i guess, i wrapped it up, and give it to him first then ask if he could lent it to me after he finish reading it. I am sure he dun really mind.. haha..It be like so the weird for me to be buying him a bdae present. Using My own werk money.. haha.. He is my lil bro after all, i do love him. He is like the last one i got. As in, it be just me and him n mum after 1st n 2nd sis marry. I wanna see him success in his life. It will make me proud even if he may hate me for being naggy and fierce wen i am teaching him... its ok.. Coz he is my lil bro.. love him no matter wat.. wanted to make a card for him... hmm.. wat should i write?? haha... weird seh.. haha!!

As i lay down, chill in my bed. I was kinda thinking back. I felt lonely lately.. With my can't sleep...haiz.. it gets too lonely. But its ok tho.. haha.. used to it.. Just the fact that i can't sleep much bothers me.. haiz... tiring.. Gotten to chit chat with Blake just now.. so good. its been a while since we last chatted, he was an friend from U.S... just an online friend.. just tat, we got to let everything out... haha get advice n such.. Easire this way... u dun need to worry abt hurting him or such.. coz he damn far away la..hahaha......haha we tell each other who we like or wat so ever n such... so he been busy and so was i.. time difference and all so  just now then we got to chit chat again. Like chatting up n catching up wit an old friend. haha...so the fun... Now, i guess i try n get some sleep....Nytes Ppl!!!!!!......

-= DeviLAid =-

Haven't been bloggin lately...Well, just plain lazy. Anywaes, life isn't that much exciting. Well, at least my life is not. Nothing much...Lets see, holidays was ok, i got to get to do my PP, then i work a lil bit more than usual, then the rest i was plainly at home. I got to cook, help ard, spent more time with the family. If not for doing all that, i probably be sleeping or jus lazying ard at home.. but i guess, its fine. At least i got enough sleep! like these few days.. DAMN! the word sleep is like a stanger... i dun get enough.. at times i cld sleep like wat, an hour the wake up... if not, worse, every 10 mins or so, i wake up!! shitto....

Then, begining of the new term, is the month of Ramadan. Fasting month!! hehe... routine for daily ramadan...

3 am : Wake up n cook

4 am: Wake the rest up to eat...

4.30 - 5 am : Clean the kitchen...

5 am - 6 am : Get some sleep... if i cld!!

6 am : Wake lil bro up for sch... + morning prayer...

6.30 am : lazy ard abit / sleep...

7 am : Prepare for sch...

8.30 am : Class starts!!

4 - 4.30 pm : Class end!!

6 pm : should have reach home. Prepare for break fast...

7 pm : near break fast..

8 pm and above... : should just try n doze off.. though i cant at times.. Then the cycle repeats..

Though, today there will be a slight change. I am gonna break fast with the crew today. The crew should be as follows, me, ros, ahmad, mar, najib, khai, farah, and rid ouh n i almost forget...Su..i think he is coming along too. Dun mind tho...It will be fun to break fast with them. We use to be so close. They are like the first group of ppl i get to know in RP.. In which are my close currently and i guess it will stay tat way.

Arrrggghhh!!! today problem really... really straessful!! damn.. Headache again.. shitto... i'll continue bloggin later...Chao!!

MY Professional Profile report is ACCEPTED!!!!!

YEAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next stage......
THE PRESENTATION N POSTER....


GO WAWAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is being the same as ever.. a lil bored now and then, and such. Sch pp/project is still not done.. damn i am done for!!! haha... it will turned out fine in the end.. no worries. Worrying makes me have migraine again...

Yesterday, was wed, no sch!!! woke up ard 1pm haha... talk2 with mum... then jus chill, watch cd... then ard 7 had to send my lil bro to tuition ard admiralty area. So decided to meet yanty while waiting for my bro for like 2hr 30min tuition... so yeay!! haha... was great hanging out wit her again... while waitin for her, someone Called!!!!!!!!! hehe... it made me really smile la.... dun know whhy... haha...

It was my 1st ex... u know wat..the first time i was with him tak ampai bape hari... coz we never talk!! haha.... we like strangers wen walkin together... so yeah.. so then kat ard sec 4 aru contact alik... patch then break... patch break.. but we still kawan ah close.. coz he n me.. never really gaduh... hehe pelik seh.. he never call or sms unless i sms him.. Unlike wen were together la kan... hehe.. so it was so the pelik... but hehe it made my day! made me really happy. i think its coz we are friends and he is such a nice guy. but too bad we not together anymore. i dun mind tho. we both got alot of responsibility to our family and wat we want to achieve. That y we separated. we jus wont have time. haha... but its cool tho.. so it was fine... so nice to hear from him.. haha.... hehe.... terbiat....

Anywae... haha just tot i share it since it made happpy.. i guess sometimes even a simple fon call from a friend cld make u smile.. hehe.... Like since lately i been feelin a lil stress out n such rite.. he knoes... so he call to jus say hi and all... so its fine... made my day!!! Even he dun know i blog this... he dun know my blog or msn... haha so ok la kan.. But THANKS An for making my dae!!!!

haha bye ppl!! till next time....

Beneath these cheerful smiles,

Not one realize.

How much pain lies in the smile...

All the masked smiles,

All the forceful torturing smiles and laughter...

Not one, Not one realizes...

Beneath these bright clear eyes,

Yet again, Not one realize.

How much tears it sheds...

All the holding back and unseen flow of tears....

All the pain n fears it sees n felt...

Not one, Not one ever realizes...

Beneath the dark blue gloomy night sky,

Still with no one realizing it...

I am left alone...

The lonely, lifeless feeling I got...

The feeling that no one know the real me...

Till the moment i lost myself,

Not one, Still no one realizes....

Beneath the same dark sky,

I Question myself,

If...Anyone would ever realize the torture i was forced to smile with.

If...Anyone could sees n feel the pain n fears i sees.

If...Anyone would ever realize i need someone there.

If...anyone could realize i need unleashed the real me...

If...Anyone would realize i need to find myself,

To leave this darkness of loneliness and pain...

Will anyone ever Realize???

Damn... i feel so stress...now.. in class... Jus now, roru said i am an owl... U wanna know why... coz i didn't sleep yesterday...sleep at ard 6am... wake up ard 30mins after that.. haha!! By now u guys shld have guess... that i am super bored, i dun understand a shito... and i dun know wat gonna happen...Damn seh... stesss stresss.... how how how.....Mind not working, not getting anything... nothing at all!!!! i dun know! a thing....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHITO...

Its 2:11 am, I really am tired, but i just can't seem to fall asleep peacefully. When i could fall asleep, i would then woken up a minutes after that. It became a lil stressful. It has been on for the past few days. Wonder wats wrong now. So today, i tried to sleep, but then i can't so i given up, so decided to just open my lappy, see wat i cld do. Oh well... But i seem to like lost interest in everything i do. I wanted to do my PP, but i just can't do it. Part of me is tired, but since i can't sleep, it explain why i can't seem to do anything.

Don't you think people can be so complicated at times...Like this person, seem so nice to me, talk to me from time to time. Then, to me if u are friends, you shld know that we can't be msging everyday. Its logical right. We all are busy with our own life... Then suddely a msg comes up... saying something that i never did do... saying i only msg the person if i need something. Well, mum tot me never depend on people... and so it becomes me, i never like depending on people... i dun ask for anything from anyone. Never expect any help from anyone too. The person know that and shitty said tat in the msg... i was like furious.. keep it out of my mind... damn... sometimes i wonder why people like tat... funk u know me... and u said tat... freak... u FUCKING SHIT!!!!... MOTHER FUCKING SHIT U!!!... really SIALANZZZzzzz kau... mati tak nak pe!!!...I don't need poeple to fuck up my life coz i think it is already shit up...And if U think i am that bad... DAmn then FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE K.... THIS GOES TO ALL OUT THERE WHO KNOWS ME... IF U THINK I AM BEING UR FRIEND COZ I WANT SOMETHING FROM U... THEN JOLLY WELL FUCK OFF.... i become someone friend coz i just feel like, coz i tresure the friendship we make...coz i never tot u would stab my back...coz i wanna be there for u ppl... not coz of fame( if u think u are that famous or popular..) Not coz of money (i dun think money make the world go round) Not coz of anything... i just like being ppl friends...friendship is something u treasure, all the momentu were there for ur friend, all the time u spent laughing or even crying, out if stress, pain or anything... knowing someone is there for u too.... tat is just it...

i guess it explains why i only hand out with few ppl...cox there is ppl tat is just damn complicated and crazy!!

HAIZzzzz.....

My view on myself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of boyfriend am i looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

My readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of my love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

My views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for me:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do i view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are my most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is my true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Basically, i took this personality test, posted by AHMAD in his bloggy. So i tried, and This is the result... Sruprisingly, most parts are true...i post the link later... kinda lost it.. haha... So, see how well u know me... if u cld identify which is true that is.... haha!!

Lately alot had been happening. And when i say alot, it does mean alot. Lets see.. Here is the list :-

- PP ( professional profiling  my sch project ) not done...

- Sch fees transation not ok...

- chosing modules for next sem ( to go for advance diploma or not?? )

- Then a friend who wen overseas for work is currently unreachable... so miss the person...

- Then, some more money bill problems...

- Then this month never get pay...Shitty...

- Worried if my coming pay (in July stupid seh...) would be enough or not... damn it...

Well, i guess basically that is the most of the things in my mind currently.  There is also other things like worrying about my grade... About the bills...i jus don't want my family to pay for the shit mistake i did... so that why i am stressing myself so much to find money... but u know la.. its not easy... Its the reason why i start working...Haiyo.. So the stressful at times...Especially wen ur best fren always bz... ur close fren at times bz.. and u dun want to stress them much.. and to say that i think i only ahave ard four close/best fren... roru, ahamad, mar, najibul, yanty... haha... Well...even tho they are bz, its ok.. coz i still have them to go to at times.. jus that i rather leave them alone.. i be ok.. but there is also some ppl... like..someone.. who chat wth me in msn la kan... i tell him my problems and stress at times.. he seems nice...haha.. then wat.. well... life have to go on tho.. i dun like to make ppl suffer. Especially the family... that y i am trying to make uo for my mistake... haiz... hope god is on my side... haiz... lost abit at times...

Frankly, i am not sure what they mean by digital drawing.. I think it's those that u didn't draw it by hand but use of digital media... Well... so i think this is one.. well hell i do not know... but anywaes.. lets get back to this...

It was one of the day, well, not today... the one who reads up blog frequently or my friends, shld know that i do not update my blog every single day... So, it was those days that i feel down, shit up, alone, sick of life and all..Hence, this came up. Well, its amazing what ur computers and laptops and all the programs could do... Well, anywae, i was feelin shit... so yea.. i came up wit these... its wat i do. To calm myself down, i draw or paint, but since i cant do that when i am in sch or for some other reason, i do it in my laptop. It doesn't calm me down as much but i guess it helps abit.

So anywae.. i like the feelin wen we are on the swing... damn i was a child the last time i had the feeling... Freely swing away...Even if at the other side of the world or even other side of me is in chaos... Who the hell cares... the freeness... the feelin of nothing to care about in the world...  The wind in ur hair... The whooosssshhh feeling when it goes down... and up again... haha... damn i miss that feeling... but now.. all is felt is empty, alone.... What i feel these days... is the pic u see here.... The color... the empty swing... the chaos... the building ... Tell me what u think....

In my 19 years of life... i cld never undestand one thing.. Why people that at a point of time meant alot to u, cld gone or walk away jus like tat. As though u never know them.. As though they don't know tat at tat particular point of time of ur life, they actually meant alot to u...

Have u ever wonder why?? Well, if u don, i guess i have and always will be.. Or have u ever wonder if u ever had done it to someone.. I haven't but i wonder how they feel... Do they walk out jus like tat witout guilt?? Or do they feel guilty but never cld go back?? Or they jus enjoy making ppl suffer...?? Wat is it?? i wonder...

Its always a wonder...Maybe they don feel how it is felt to have someone tat meant alot to u to jus walk away or dissappear jus like tat.. It suck... It feels like shit... It feels like the whole world abandon u.. It feels BETRAYED!!!! Damn Fucking Shit Up BETRAYED!!! Wanna know why..?? coz the person who u tot wld be there for u.. who at the point of time means something to u.. who at tat time make u feel tat there is something nice to look forward to in life wen everything i shit up.. jus walk away.. or jus dissappear... imagine the ones who mean alot jus dissappear or walk out of ur life... GOd.. even a loner or jus some ppl, who are disable or wat so ever knows how it feels la.. even ur pet knows how it feels la.... BETRAYED!!!!! fucking shit BETRAYED!!!

Haiz...still dun understand why some of these ppl jus walk away or dissappear jus like tat... its like u come, u be for tat person.. be his or her backbone..help in al u can, promise tis n tat... than u walk away... its like the same like u come to the restaurant, ask for the waiter.. get a conversation with him or her.. saying all kinds of things.. making the waiter trust tat u are gonna order some fancy shit, then u tell the waiter... ok i need to think wat to eat.. there is like a whole lots of stuff.. i cant decide... waiter say ok.. then in a while.. u walk off.. just like tat.. the waiter than was shock.. and say.. fuck tat customer sah.. this n tat.. last walk off never buy anything.. two-faced-pain-in-the-ass...

So... if anyone would like to answer or debate or give ur opinion.. jus go ahead k.. would love to hear from other ppl point of view.. Why do ppl cld jus walk away frm our life.. jus like tat... why?? how cld they??? how???

Well, do not really knows the history behind vesak dae, but hey, its a public holidae...haha.. well.. basically..spent the day at home...doing alot of stuff... well not tat alot but.. but yeah...

In the morning.. not exactly morning wen i woke up.. was like noon la.. da ptg la sei... hahaha.. Wake up, seeing my cousin jus came back from bangkok/thailand. Bought me t shirt.. nice la sei.. haha. And 2 key chains, one is elephant, the other one is a kid looking small doll, wearing a tradisional clothing..their tradisional clothing la.. was cute...

Then followed mum to Cwp.. she want to buy some stuff in cold storage.. Tot she wanted to cook the normal stuff...followed her ard.. then come back.. she cook chicken rice.l the sambal was like power la... Go MummY!!... haha.. By then, i think she metion to me like 3 times already tat she wanted to see the movie congkak...

Aft she cook and all.. she quickly sit at the living room's sofa.. wanna know why... haha coz there was a scary story.. hahaha.. she was like concentrating and watching it la.. while i clean up the last bits aft she cooked.. haha no big deal anywae..

Then... aft we sit and watch several stories, se told me to get up and help her clean up the storeroom!!! damn.. seriously.. there was like a tonns of stuff la inside...so we took quite a while to clean i up.. aft clean up, and throwing the rubbish and all... i wen to mum's room since she was like lying down.. i lie down beside her.. and fallen asleep... hehe.. tired la sei...By this time.. its like alot of times already tat she mention to me tat she want to see the movie..

I sleep abt.. not more than an hour.. i think.. then my cousin ask me to follow her go take the pics she sent for printing at one of the Cwp photo shop... then mum ask to do some checking stuff.. then ask me to get money n buy tickets to watch the movie..

Then.. its the 9.55pm show.. cousin have to head home.. so its jus my 2nd sis, lil bro, mum dad n me... the sotry was like keep making us shoock... if got heart attack can die... haha... was and enjoying dae aftall... haha..at least somehing...

At times when i pause and jus keep to my own mind, in a way jus sit and kept quite and jus reflect what ever i felt like in my own mind and heart....At times it ends with me feeling lost and confused, or sometimes jus blur, while at other times i jus felt sad and lonely.. Maybe its just typical..Or maybe its not.. Maybe i am disturbed, maybe i am not..Maybe i am jus disturbed by the past..Or even the present..

At times, as i look ard me.. seeing the ppl ard me, alot went thru the mind. Sometimes wen i see ppl ard me so happily laughing, i wonder wat makes them so happy. Somtimes it makes me wonder how ppl could be so happy at times, without realising someone close to them is suffering in some other ways. Then wen i see a mum and her childrens, i like to see the reactions between the kid and them. See how they response to watever their mum told or talked to them abt. Alot then came across the mind. Like wen i see mum saying or telling something to the kid, and the kid react like he doesn't care or in a bad way..i wonder why we kids do that sometimes.. Thinking back, i woder how many times i hated my mum naggings...but then as my life past by..realising how much she have scacrifice for us, how much she she forgiven us or not..how much she say alot of stuff tat is good for us but we hate it when she told us that wat we do is wrong.. Then after everything.. i realise, no matter how much she may hate wat i do.. or no matter if she would throw me out for wat ever reason ( touch wood, I never done anything wrong..) no matter how much she may hate me.. I on the other hand would always treasure her.. for all tat she done.. for all...

At times, when i see ppl...i feel irritated by the way they treat others or even me.. Like the times wen u are like being ignored, or being treated as if u are never there wen u are actually part of the team. Like in sch, its suposed to be a grp werk, then they like say its ok.. jus read the on the stuff i do the ppt... i know its easier.. but i feel tat i not doing anything.. it piss me off.. The fact that i feel tat i am like not doing anything and all piss me off.. Coz i feel tat i am not contributed and on top of tat it really make me feel lost.. i know u guys are fast learners and all that.. but i am not.. sorrie i am like this.. but seriously ppl..let me know wat u ppl doing...Then at times wen i see ppl treating their so called love ones like.. like their dog, must follow every single thing they say, i feel sad for the person, pity the person for always having to do watever they are told.. While at times i saw who shout at their gf in the middle of the world, i feel really angry, even if u are angry and even if ther gal do something wrong, can't u guys settle it in private... are u guys so damn shameless??!! for goodness sake every1 would be staring guys.. i know its ur own fucking buiseness la.. but common la.. no shame? And pls.. mind the ppl ard la.. it disturb the peace of others k.. especially those malay couples.. act like they are so big shot like tat... if u not shame.. we malays feel every shameful tat such ppl exsist in our community.. we are usually related to good cultured community..

Of course.. there is alot of stuff that i saw.. for now.. i think i could only saw this much...Till next time...

-= DeviLAid =-

Well, its been a while since i last updated my blog... Well, at times i felt that there nothing to tell u ppl. Well, maybe there is stuff that happen, but its not such a big deal.. so i felt tat its useless to post it..

Anywaes.. MOTHER's dae ard the coner.. damn... out of money.. sch makes me spend alot i guess.. haiz... so the sad. Even if i have the money.. do not know wat to buy for her... haha.. so the pathetic rite.. haiz... so the sad.. The other day, i went to Ayer Hitam, its in Jb...some sort like a nearly 2 hrs f bus ride.. if u take the express bus.. if not.. it will be like a 3 hrs plus kinda ride.. haha.. Went wit mum, dearest cousin ( like my sis, like my mum also to me..) and her daughters.. haha 2 small kid.. she live in jb, so ask her to bring us... i am actually happy going there with them.. even though it abit sad that nowadays no one follows her ard anymore.. only me wenever i cld.. Was happy i got to spend the whole day wit her.. even if she was concentrating on my sis coming wedding preparations.. got myself an spongebob pillow.. haha cute.. we walk n walk n walk... keep buying drinks coz it was hot.. and thirsty.. mum keep feeling thirsty.. then.. after that.. wen we nearly going home.. we then go and eat.. at this lke coffee shop... the fried rice.. was damn spicy.. nice.. seriously.. different from sg one la.. then with yong tau foo...haha power la..its like kampong taste ( the fried rice i mean) haha... Its nice to taste something diffent from the typical tase of sg... but overall, i had fun.. really.. jus following her ard.. This was my labour day, spending day out in jb wit mum.. Sooriiiiee tat it was like a week or two ago la.. haha...

Then wat else happen... hmmm...then... a friend of mine.. who i known not for like such a long time.. but we gotten close... hehe.. its a wonder how we cld get close with someone on such short notice.. haha.. but a sweet person.. sometimes would call me later at nite to talk to me till i feel sleepy.. Normal case la.. Cant sleep.. haiz... still the same prob.. haiyo.. anywae... The friend.. have to go oversea!!!! so the sad...and the fact that i missed the person msn msg jus b4 went off.. i was offline told the person to call b4 wenting off.. but msn.. haiz.. but its ok... the day before we talk on the fone.. was singing to me songs after song.. haha so the sweet.. but lets pray he goes and come home safetly k...after 4 months then will be back.. haiz.. its okie...

THen.. wat else happen.. hmm.. as per normal.. we get irritated by some ppl at sch and such.. haha ros shld know who.. haha anywaes.. life as per normal goes on.. wit all the problems and such in my head.. well.. still having my morning pains and all.. my back still hurts.. haiz... wonder wat will happen next....

Each person is made in a different way rite.. And each person have their own of everything, the way they do stuff, dressing, wat they like and the way they think, the way they think about the good, and the bad.. each person is very different.. but most have a common one like.. we shldn't do this n tat.. but some ppl, i jus dun get it.. Why some ppl do stuff that is at times.. u know u shldn't... At times i think some of these ppl are sickenin..

Why i say these?? For example.. things that even some bad boys or gals do not play around with.. DEATH... but u know wat..Some ppl are jus sickening.. like i said.. sickenin.. There was this story.. a gal, was said to lost her bf who died in brunei.... told by the family.. then a week after crying and crying and the fact that she cant give her last respect to the body.. she was damn sad.... she received a call.. u.. u... the voice call.. as she jus woke up.. she said yes.. so then the voice said.. u remembered who i am or not?? To her shock, it was him.. his dead b4.. Well so called to be dead.. then after dead he said some stupid reason like.. they mistaken someone who look like him to be dead.. the thing is.. mistaken identity happens seldom in hospital.. it cld happen if both do not have an identity card with them.. and something like tat.. then the bf said again.. cld u help me.. i wanna go back to sg.. but i dun have enuf money for the flight.. i have werked abit to collet some. but the flight is later.. and i still lack or $50.. the she said.. go find help.. then he said.. u tranfers some money to me la.. u know my acct no rite.. then she think back.. he is in brunei.. how to acess POSB back acct there?? no such thing.. Then she think again.. he said all his stuff the family took back.. then why he have his POSB accnt card?? No logic!! But part of her wanted to help..  but too bad she dun have money.. thank god.. I think god pity her for always helping him.. Then she said she dun have money.. then he was like.. help la help la.. borrow from anyone.. or sell ur hp...she said.. no i cqaqnt ddo that.. i'm sorrie.. Then after that.. she was bz wit other stuff. so then he never call again. as he said the no wasn't his.. some brunei aunty.. but the number is sg number.. no logic again!! Then after that she was like crusing.. what the fuck was he trying to do!!!

Yeah like i said.. sickening ppl..1st he made her go thru all his  problem.. she help him all the time.. at the last straw.. u played with death!!! U mother fucking chain saw son of a bastered guy!!!!!!! sorrie for the vulgar..This is wat i said that some ppl.. i jus cant seem to understand what they are doing.. This is am example of some weird nonsense that some ppl do..And  the fact that at times they do this stuff to ppl that actually did care abt them.. stupid ppl..then end up.. u totally lose their trust.. ont only tat i lost the person too.. haha.. suit the person rite.. sooner or later then would feel their lost of the person that were there for that stupid nonsense person.. Seriously.. i do notunderstand these ppl.. wonder why they do stpid stuff. Its not liike u gain anything good from doing all these nonsense stuff... all u could get back is hated by the other person.. and the lost of someone..But seriously.. who would understand these ppl..... would u??

AaaaarrrrrggggggHHH... So the tired... Have to wake up early everyday. Sometimes it feels so tired... ANd feeling the aches on my back the minute i open up my eyes.. Ouch.. i am in class and i still can feel my back aches.. And the worse is the pain i feel waist area.. Unbearable... Sit for sometime and i feel the pain.. Stand for too long i feel the pain too.. Damn... And the worse for today is that i having headache.. Getting migraine again. PLs not now.. Not so soon... i Wanna Get another A grade for Ai Tee's lesson... haha.. she is a great faci.. Even ask me just now how is my dad.. as i told her i been so tired and all..Like tellin her what i been thru in my life in my rj.. haha.. didnt mean to.. but she make me tell in a way..Well maybe its jus me.. Sometimes u jus need to let out to someone.. Ahhh... its like complains.. u need to complain to someone sooner or later. If u got bf/gf.. they will be the one u complain to every now and then.. if u close to ur friends, then u complain to them sometimes..While at times it not complains.. its ur feelings and depression u feel that u wanna let out.. They are just like complains...But its okie to let them out u know.. it reliefs the so call burdenor stressness u feel. Even though at most of the times, no one could help. but having someone that listens to all ur naggings, ur feelings, ur stress, could make u feel better.. At times it makes u feel that there are still someone who cares even at the darkest moments of ur life.. though... At times..Like me.. When at times.. there isn't anyon there.. and the only thing u got is urself and like wat.. teddy bear?? U just have to be strong.. Its hard but u have to be strong.. No matter wat, in this life, there are points of times in which u have to face everything by urself. having to do everything by urself isn't that bad. Sad, anger, stress, tiredness will all come all at once.. but u jus have too.. i guess everyone goes thru it some time. Look it in another way, its just a stteping stone to make u a stronger person. To make u prepare for watever cld happen to u in near future. U cldn't always depend on ppl to be there for u 24hrs a dae..other ppl have their stuff too.. while some.. wld jus leave u sooner or later.. its fate..

Ade org kate... kalau sakit tu, tande nye yg tibe masenye u rest.. Kalau kite sakit tande nye da mase nye kite rest.. then kalau org tu mati?? tande nye ape lak?? Kalau org mati, tande nye, mase dier da sampai...

Lepas tu ade org kate... bile org da mati kite akan dgr... " sudah lah, da mase dier pergi.. Tuhan sygkan die lebih..." Kadang2 terfikir jugak.. ape, jahat nah ke aku... kalau tuhan tak amik nyawe aku dulu, die tak syg aku sgt la?? ape je... kan DIE tu adil.. Tak kan dier mcm kite2 ni.. org tu kate syg.. org tu kite syg cikit.. org lagi satu tu tk syg.. ape aje la.. Tapi.. da bagus tu org2 ni cube make u cheer up.. da bagus la tu...

Then ade org kate pulak.. " anak dier mesti jahat nanti besar.. ko tgk je la bapak dier nye peragai.." Ni part bedek... Example.. bapak aku.. ade a kisah2 nye.. tapi mak aku jagu takde ape2 pun.. satu2 masok jugak sch, dapat jugak grad.. akak aku da khawin pun sak.. takde pun masal anak uat peragai.. Kalau ade makcik2 cakap kat korang gini.. ko pergi kat dier kate.. " makcik.. nanti makcik nye anak pun same... tgk je la mak die ni.. mulut banyak busuk.. cuci dgn clorok pun tak hilang sak baunye cik..." Ni kalau die tak paham...aku tak tahu la kan...

Macam2 la org2 ni kate kan.. ade yg sakit hati, ade yg memang tak masuk akal, ade pulak tu cume cube try2 pujuk la conon.. haha.. Untuk sekarang, ni aje aku ade untuk session " Ade org kate " untuk sekarang.. Nanti aku free, aku sambung... ni pasal tgh nk let go stress nye session.. kalau megarut.. buat bodoh sudah la k... bye ppl!!

On Sat, i gotten a news.. One that makes me cry.. One that i never expected it to be.. Damn.. I feel so lost.. Wen i gotten the news, i wanted to cry.. but damn i can't.. COz mum and all would ask why.. and i knw i wont be able to explain. LAte that nite.. i cry.. while i wanna go and sleep.. i cry and cry.. Damn.. WHy does all this have to happen to me.. WHy... WHat have i done wrong to deserve all this.. I wish i knw.. The only thing i cld do is pray.. Pray to god to give me the strength to go thru all this... Pray to HIM that he give me patience to go thru all this.. Pray to HIM.. That's all i cld do..

Damn.. its getting more and more complicated huh... Well u guys knos wat.. i am like getting headache every now and then.. Well i guess it coz i think too much and the fact that i been stressing out in class.. AARRHHH.. i have Science everyday!! hahaa.. serve me rite for choosing abt medication.. no says its gonna be easy... ALmost everyone says u can't do it.. That u are not capable enough.. WEll, i'll show u ppl... WHo cares anywae.. not doing this for u ppl... Doing it for mum and myself..and of coz for my lil bro.. and all in the family..

Then yesterday i made someone angry.. well, i didnt mean it.. Its just at times when u not in the mood and all, then the person tried to cheer u up but end up u jus gets more stressed up, and in the end u get angry and say something stupid like.. u are the same like everyone.. and make the person angry..and aaaarrgggggg!!!!!! i really didnt mean it u knw..

DAmn.. me and my mouth.. Then i got a late nite call.. someone in the hospital.. damn.. too bad the person is not in singapore.. if not i wld rush there after sch.. AAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!! But he is not.. AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! i will prar that the person will be fine.. and he can come back soon..

THere... here got extra ppl typing...Hi, this is Shyda. And I'm bored. Waidah is currently stressed up, as she's having science module everyday! If you were in our place, you will be feeling how we feel too. Ok done!

Kan pelik dunia nie... Dgn senang kite boleh percaye kan seseorg itu... Dan dgn sekelip mate jugak, dgn senangnye seseorg itu boleh memperdayakan kite..

Kenape aganknye.. org2 ni suke tipu.. or in another words.. pijak kepale kite bile kite da baik dgn org tu... ye la.. org lame selalu kate.. buat baik berpade - pade, buat jahat jgn sekali... So, ni ke balasan kite bile kite tak uat jahat ?? pelik kan..

Kenape agaknye org2 ni dapat bile they pijak kepale kite tu?? kepuasan?? atau.. saje je nk tgk org mcm kite derite?? Sialan la kadang2 org2 nie kan...

Yang lain sial ye la bile org2, yg kite anggap kawan, buat sial belakang kite.. In aother words.. is like when a person u trusted, stab u in the back.. years of friendship cld jus gone...Pelik2 org2 nie kan.. They uat hati kite nie.. mcm mainan.. tak suke je.. atau boring je.. main la... try tgk org tu sabar ke die perang...

Ape yg they dapat bile they uat gini??? ape??? 

Today... when i woke up.. i was lazy.. mum n dad had sent my lil bro to religious class then they went jb for a while.. then 2nd sis when to attend a wedding..1st sis n bro in law went out.. let me.. i had to go werk at 4pm.. so i was left alone.. did not feel like getting up so i ended up reading a book..till i realise tat i shld be going to werk..i was actually getting late.. tell the truth.. i am sick n tired of the job, and the fact that the pay suckz and to think my fares are really expensive.. damn it.. so i went out rushing... then mum called.. ask me if i got money... i was at the bus stop.. asked me to go back up n so i did.. still rushing.. then she waited at the lift at the 10th floor.. wit $5..am so thankful for tat.. the rush back to the bus stop.. waited for the bus again.. so then when i was in my 2nd bus..i was reading and listenin to music.. by this time my head is really getting painful.. i had it frm mornin but the pain was nt this painful.. then i stop reading.. and tried to get some Zzzz.. sleep.. then when i open my eyes.. i saw this lady giving bananas to 2 monkeys..haha the area was jus forest.. so i guess there will be wild monkeys ard.. cute... haha...Then when at werk.. gotten down frm the bus.. i felt like puking.. but cant since i havent really eaten.. so then i change to my werk uniform, bought mineral water and snikers..chocolate.. haha.. then.. normal la at werk.. then suddely this cute guy came in.. he is malay but fairer than me.. damn he is so cute.. came to the counter with some shaver.. asking me is there is still those disposable ones.. Since i was so distracted by the way he talk (so the nice..) and how cute he is... i accidentally said no.. oppsss, i am so sorrie... but damn he is cute...hahaha...Anywae.. i still got the headache till now.. and i am already home.. damn it rite... i guess i been thinking too much.. that is why, i cant keep doing this... my migraine have already been getting worse.. and the fact i dun have anymore of my medicine... do u know migraine can be fatal.. damn... hope i dun die soon.. well its in HIS hands.. jus hope its not soon coz i still have a duty to my mum and lil bro.. until he is old enuf, and got stable job.. i wont walk away frm my duty... and especially not when i get my mum to stop werking.. and let her live in peace, i wont walk away frm my duty... life is hard... but we still have to face it...

Well, 5th march, I turned a year older now.. today... Tell u the truth.. it makes no difference to me.. I just turned a year older.. Nothing else change.. But I am thankful that I am able to stand among others, and the ppl I love, and to be able to see them happy leading their life they way the think best... Well... it feels a bit lonely... But I guess it just the same as any other day.. that's why it feels a bit lonely. Well I am used to it.. so I be okie...

Didn't get sleep aft I came back from work the day b4.. Came back a bit late and got lock outside.. HaHa... But I already told mum I coming home a bit late. A bit became more than a lil a bit as saw my old friend at sembawang.. Asked me to follow go eat, since its been a while since we talk and hang out, and to think it was my Bdae..And since I told mum I be coming home a bit late.. I went along.. Eat at sembawang.. so then, we hail a cab..to sent me home first.. so sweet..

Then 5th march..Well, morning, since I can't sleep..I got up from bed.. to the living room.. talk and talk and then... then followed mum go pay bills..buy food for the sisters. Then got home, 1st sis gave me a watch..Thnx.. Then I cook.. like normal la kan.. Then.. aft everything.. mum wen and sleep. and I rested at my room.. Then it gets all bored till I fall asleep...finally..HaHa.. I was waiting to get sleep.. woke up and found a box in my cupboard.. I got this white skirt wit black roses on it.. HaHa from 2nd sis la ni.. Thnx...

Tho I feel bit lonely today, Thnx for the ppl that had wish me happy Bdae thru sms or net or msn.. Thnx u guys...But.. Thnx.. seriously to all.. AHHhhh da tue!! hahakkzzz.. But thanks to all okie.. even if its for just remembering.. thnx alot...love u ppl k..muack muackss..

Waidah

Well, Have U actually ever wonder.. Why these ppl comes and goes as they please.. Weird isn't it.. They come, get to know U, promise to be Ur friend and all that..make u trust them and all.. But then Stab u in the back or just.. leave u.. Disappear just like that.. Weird isn't it.. Ppl... Lies..

At times I wonder why they even bother to be Ur friends when they actually would leave u.. or disappear just like that sooner or later.. And to top it all off.. they actually promise u.. No wonder they say," Promises are meant to be broken." Haizzz...

Then.. It would lead u to this.. Have u ever wonder why.. Why u even believe these ppl?? Have u ever wonder why no matter how many countless number of times ur friends played u out, or promise some things or even the countless number of times u made a friend and they leave u with unkept promises.. u still make new friends and believe them. even when in the end... u know they aren't really gonna kept being there or keep their promise..Well, I wonder why..

Well, I guess its ok to wonder why at times.. Well, I guess we just want someone to be there for us..Especially when we really in need of someone to turn to.. But its just weird how someone could just be there then the next min, they disappear from ur life, acting like hey never ever existed in ur life before.. Don't they feel the guilt? Well, i guess I will keep wonder why.. Till maybe one day, someone give an answer to it.. But I guess, everyone would answer differently to these question..

But if anyone of u, who reading this, might wanna let out some suggestion or opinion to these question or tots of mine.. pls fell free to do so aite.. I would love to read some views of others...

This pic originally was jus plain chain up hands.. not bloody.. on a black banckgrd. Then i edited it... throwing in some tribal patterns and a rose at the right coner...Then finishing it up wit some color.. As in i made the hands bloody... was quite bored with jus a plain one.. HaHA.. its cool wat photoshop cld help u do huh..Cool huh..

If u guys wanna know..this is what i do when i am bored.. If i cant draw or paint.. This is like the replacement to it.. its cool.. interesting to me.. its jus like drawing.. u need to put in ur ideas all together in and make it out.. like drawing.. u get the ideas, ur pencil do all the werk.. and last, we get the final piece.. Using comp, its the same.. get the ideas, we use our fingers.. move the cusor.... and the way we go.....!!!! wohooo!!!

Ahhh.. Holidayz..
Always boring..
Dapat keje.. but i think they don like me...
She make me werk like, one day per week..
Puas Hati tak yah keje kan...
Belohkan!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck these ppl seh..
Might as well u Sack me rite!!
Senang sikit.. got a reason to get another job..
Shit ppl...

Lately kan..
Its been so boring..
Lonely abit..
Everyone is like so damn bz...
Haiz.. nasib ko la waidah!!!
WAIDAH.. UR LIFE IS DRY, N BORING!!!
face it..

N u know wat..
THese ppl keep popping up when they got prb..
Weird kan..
Mcm la aku ni conselor..
But i dun mind....
I like to listen to them..
Jus to be there for these ppl..
But well.. its sad coz not all ppl know i got prb too..
Jus a cheerful gal they see..
Damn...

At times i wish they see the truth..
But too bad.. truth could never be seen...
Haiz..
Looks like my bdae.. gonna be one lonely one...
Hell yeah...
CHill ppl!!

Call me wen u need someone to talk to aiitteee..
Hotline open 24hrs... all nit and day!!
Haha...
But seriously.. call me if u need someone to talk to aitee...
Take care!!

Well,
Wonder what to blog lately..
Been rather lost at times.. weird isn't it..
And my hp charger been uat peragai..
Jap boleh.. jap tak boleh... stress seh..
Then.. ouh have u ppl seen..

The hp, sony ericsson W980i...
Its new.. not out yet.. or is it?
Not sure.. but hell.. like it.. ahhh..
Then...
Nokia 7500 prism,
Has a cool design..
But nokia 7900 crystal prism
Has cool color..

Haha... got nothing better to talk abt huh..
Hehe...
Damn bored la...

This yr..
i guess it would be the same..
It be plain simple..
i dun mind..
I dun need anything basically...
just see everyone truly happy for once...
I got everything i need..
A hp to sms or call, mp3 to listen to...
To my sis and family..pls..
i dun want anything anymore ok...
No i need a hp ok...
haha... Jgn la akak sal bazir duit tu..
haha...

Ahhh.. i jus hope...
Everything would be fine,
Jus hope..
all will be happy...

Hope so...

last u ppl knoe..
i was happy..
Then now..
All have fallen apart..

Weird..
How Happiness ends in sadness..
I cried alot...
Alot.. and alot..

Feeling lost than ever..
Ha.. guess i will forever be lost..
Sad rite...

Damn i hate myself...
hate being me.. hate it...

SOme1 pls help me...
i am lost..

So hey ppl...
How is the new year for u ppl??
This week...
Hmm...
cried alot...

On Sat...
meet yanty, my bestie...
Well we talk abt our stress n all..
She always there for me thanks...
Meet Him too...
He was trying so hard to help...
Thank u for being there for me too...

Sun..
Well updating my blog..
Edit pics..
Ouh and my another best cousin,
Which i am close with...
Fid ( in short ) is coming over!!
Haha.. its been a long time since i meet her...
damn..
missing her too..
So yeah... got to go...
HaHa...
see u ppl ard...!!

Well,
Its been weeks since i last blog..
Sorrie to all..
i was jus bz..
skool started..
And got another special person entered my life..
Well..
Its been sweet, nice..
I cried few times... here and there..
Basically i cried alone..
Well.. i hope he is here now..
Guess he too busy..Busy with everything else...
But me...
Well.. i have to understand rite..
so everytime he call late..
all i cld say.. " its ok"
" its ok.. I paham... "
RIte now... i jus miss him..
Feel like crying..
Wish he wasn't tat bz..
Wish he is here...

There goes my saturdae...
GOne... spending with jus me..
ANd... ME...
ANd just my laptop...
Damn it feels lonely again..

-=- DeviLaid -=-

Today,
someone tell wrote to me this :

Well I'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over,
But a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But your the only one
It's not over.

You can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out...


------------------------------------------------

Well, i guess..
if u look it in this way,
No one understand what the writer wants..
But hey..
i know what he wants..
Well.. answer given to him...
Haha.. some how..
i still cant believe..
i answer him..
what i answer...
But part of me..
Somehow...
glad i did...
What i did...
Some how i am glad..

KEPALE KU SAKIT !!!!

Lately,
There was alot in mind..
I may seen Happy, and cheerful outside...
But Inside...
Can Anyone See???

No...
U knoe why..
Coz no one really care...
There is a few...
But the friends tat Cares...
Out there some where...
BZ...

I guess,
This is life huh...
Busy.. everyone have their own life...
ANd this is mine...
DEspite the sorrow inside...
I smile...
I laugh..
Hiding all the pain and worries...

WHen will this end??
WHen can i jus break down...
Break down to show how it felt like inside....
The feeling of wanting to just shout out...
The feeling of wanting to break down and cry.....

Yet i can't...
Can't...

Just.... Can't.......

Hey ppl!!!!

Okie la, have to admit,
its been a long time since the last blog entry i put in..
OKie, This pics above.. hAHA..
IS actually glow sticks..
was at the beach on the 15..
tat nite i played with glow sticks..
cute huh...haha...
I went to the beach with my sis,
East coast park...
Haha.. n felt aft riding bicycle too.. haha...
It was with my sis future husband family..
they invited me since i knoe them alreay.. haha
But it was fun...
See how happy everyone is...
ANd my sis..
In her eyes, i see that she really is happy...
I am happy for her..
Happy tat she found the love of her life...
** i will put in more pics aiight?? ***

==-- DeviLaid --==

Well,
Its late..
Dated 3 dec 07 today..
1.43 am..
And yet.. i am still here..
Can't sleep jus yet..
A lot been happening lately..

Like losing an old classmate..
Died cause he had an accident..
he was still surviving in the hosp..
then the next thing i knew..
an sms came up..
he died...
Damn... i shld have gone and visited him..
Stupid rite..
" Ryan.. my dear friend.... We, those of ur friends.. ur classmates...
We will always miss u... we all love u aiite... May u rest in peace... "
On the day of his funeral i didnt get to go..
But on that day..
Gotten to know that my uncle sister in law...
ANother words... my aunty also have been buried...
SAd isn't it.. my family only gotten to know when she is already been burried...
This is the at of others...
Who dun appreciated my family.. and yet do tis to us...
U ppl could have been more nice and jus called us!!
but no...
stuborn shit.....
how could u ppl do this....
TO her.... she died.. and u never tell us...
IT was sad...
SHe was very nice...
very........
she cook well too..
she had cook for my 1st sis wedding too...
Was very nice of her rite...
very nice....
" i pray for the best... God loves u alot..."

In jus a week..
I lost two ppl in my life...
This is the truth of live isn't it...
The sad truth of life...
When u lose someone...
U jus have to face it...
Face it with strength..
Its difficult... but u must go on...
It the fact of life...
Ppl u love jus come and goes....
Its ok...
HE jus love them more...
Be strong everyone....
For this is jus....
THE TRUTH OF LIFE......

-=- Devilaid -=-

HAha..
Today.. i deleted MIRC from my lappy...
Its been stressful everywhere i go..
Wonder why seh...
Well i guess its time i quit all the chatting...
Time to go from a local chatter here an there..
to a normal.. sch gal...
Time to jus chill...

Anywae...
My lasted art work nearly completed...
i jus need to buy charcoal and touch up...
FInal touches will be made.. in another 2 weeks i guess...
ME taking my own sweet time to do tis art work...
a picture will be taken only wen it have been finish...
Art lovers.. do keep in touch wit me if u wanna see...
thanks u...

_=_ DeviLaid _=_
+- Living In Simplicity -+

Today,
i never go sch..
Not that i do not want to..
but i was sick..
Had flu from yesterday..
tot it would be gone by this mornin..
But no....
my head felt damn heavy..
And u know wat..
the pain was UNBEARABLE!!!!!!!!!

Slept nearly the whole day..
Anywae.. wake up..
bathe..
Force myself to eat..
then medicine..
Can't slep so here i am...

took Photos of me and lil bro..
just to cheer up abit..
even tho my head still hurts..


-=- DeviLaid -=-

U ppl wanna know wat !??
I think i am addicted to Hot choco and marshmellow..
eating marshmellow, and at the same time drink a sip of hot choco..
Ahhh heaven seh...
Feel the softness of the marshmellow mixing together with hot choco..
THe melting sensation...
THe heavenly taste...
Hmm....
Damn nice....

Sejak kebelakangan ini,
Waidah asik takle tido..
Entah kenape..
Da dua - tiga hari ni,
Waidah tido dalam 3 jam jek...
Penat rase nye..
Da tu,
Tambah dgn sakit kepale..
Nyut-nyut aje mlm2..
Dari stress sikit,
Boleh stress banyak..
Mcm nk aje hentak kepale kat tembok...
Haiz,
Nasib2...

--== DeviLaid ==--

To those that care,
i think,
there's one or two...

U people wonders,
what's wrong wit me?
Well,
To tell u ppl the truth,
I have no idea.....

Sorrie if...
i haven't been myself lately,
Sorrie if i made u guys worry..

Currently,
tell u the fact..
i feel...
Empty...
Lonely...
LOst...

THat's what's wrong,
i think..
i dun know why..
i really dun..

TO people who dun know me...
TO u guys,
my blog may be emo,
or what shit u ppl call me..
i dun care if u guys talk behind my back..
COz i know who i am...
I know where i stand...
LOw as i can stand..
is where i am..
But i dun care...
WHat ever u think..
Beyond this careless attitude.....
i suffer....
Beyond what u guys would ever feel..
Yet i Do not care.....

All i know..
is that rite now..
at tis moment..
All i feel..
Is emptiness...
Loneliness..
N lost...


----==== Devilaid ====----

Thousands Shining Stars in the sky..
Slowly disappear...
Leaving me searching..
in Darkness..

Hence, the Moonlight..
Now slowly darkening away...
Leaving Me Lost..
Without anywhere to go..

U use to Be light..
the Pull..
Leading Me out Of This Darkness...
But...
WHere are u NOw??

U use to be there..
When i am lost...
U Use to be my map..
Guiding me to where i should go...
But
NOw?? WHere are u??

So now......
Where am i??


--=- DeviLaid -=--

This two picS are edited by :
--== DeviLaid ==--

Lately,
Its been too lonely..
Too silent..
At times,
Neither a Ring,
Nor a Beep tone heard..
My hand phone seems dead..

i Kept my distant,
From these people..
it seems so scary..
Yet,
When asked Why..
Its so hard to explain..

In Silence,
Sorrows slowly engrave themselves
Giving More pain that ever..
Yet i remain silent..
Thou' i myself doubt i know why..
Why do i Wanna kill myself slowly this way?
why??
Why???

CUTe ISn't it !!!!! hahahakkzzzz...

What does silence means to u?
Does it means, " hate u, "
Or " i'm in Pain, "
Or " i need u? "
SO, WHat does it really means???

Nevertheless,
it seems s painful..
to just endure.
the slow killing..
from the silence..
that u gave...

Yet,
me too..
was in silence more than u..
What does it feel like to u??
Do u..
feel the pain that u gave me??
Do u??

Hey,

This is the same drawing in the previous entry, jus that its backgrd is in black and the drawings is in white.
I think its a better one rite?
Somehow, its much nicer to look at..
AM i rite?
Or is it jus to my eye??

To all that used to be close to me...
i jus want to say that i am sorri if i haven't been there, or
haven't been hanging out with u guys...
CUrrently i got alot of problems at home..
i am truely sorrie ok..
i talk to all of u soon...
Getting migrane again...
take care... bye

~`~devilwai~`~

Hie..
i editted the fish drawing with some design, jus to kill time and to kill boredom i had in class, i edited this using my laptop. In Classs!! hahakzz.. bad me... i jus play ard with the pics that i drawn and scaned into my laptop, and then jus duplicate it, and turn and twist them ard and gotten this...Would be better if i got Photoshop. HAhakzz. it would be much nicer and with more realistic piece of drawing...

The main purpose for this is actually to get new symbol for the horoscope pisces.. WEll, not to worry, its jus a first step. I'll keep drawing and editing till i get the finalize thing.. Jus keep updated aiighttt...


~`~ devilwai ~`~

Hey,
SO i am bored, in class, decided to upload some of the nonsense i drew..
<---- this side, its jus some border i drew up recently.. dun know whats its for.. i drew for the sake of killing time at home. since i got nothing to do. Ok then on this side------------------------------^
its just a a drawing of a rose, from the bottom view... Hope u guys can see it... COz at times, people jus du get what u are drawing. It irritates me at times....

~`~devilwai~`~

okie this is just some drawings i drew recently.....
TOpic...
fishes...
haha...

Hey all...

Its the start of the day in school...
Its so sleepy..
at the side, its two old drawings of mine..
So, wats it abt..
I did tis drawig when i was out..
in the mrt...
Well,
So i seen alot of people ard me..
not really lah, since it was late...
last train home..
So then its was a peaceful journey home...
a few people here and there but then all blank seats..
So then i was bored,
so i drew these two people,
not sure if they notice..

So,
wats with the faces rite..
Well, wen u drew something
or someone,
u look at it in ur point of view..
At times u see them much different..
At times u see the real them.
There is always something different

FOr these two drawing..

THe boy turn out to be much smily,
the real person is the same,
but the smile some what different when he smile at me,

THe lady,
see the eyes?
i did it like that coz she was wearing contacts..
SO i dun know how her eyes is..
she was a beautiful lady,
but abit action.. as in those high class bitch..
but i drew her in a way i tried to see her differently..
it turns out to be much more nicer and friendly..

u guys shld see the real drawings..
its much clearer..
but who cares...
So...
Wat u guys thinks abt my drawings??
Give me a comment aiight??
thanks,

Waidah

Hey..

ToO all who visiting my Bloggy, A warm welcome and thank u for even visiting.. though my bloggy is not famous, hey its where i share my tots and feelins abt stuff i wanna and feel like to..

Ok today, the upmost weird thingy happens.. hahakzz.. to all that knows me in person, should have known the fact that i hardly wear skirts.. hahakz, dun ask why, i just don't. For all who dun really knows me... lets me tell u more abt me.. I'm jus a simple gal, Which seldom wear skirt.. not just seldom, its like once in a blue moon hahakkzz..But today, i decided to wear skirt to skool.. Which is actually a shock to all who knowsa me abit more in depth. hahakzz Ok. To all who wonder why i wear skirt... Lets get one thingy straigth!! I DO NOT HAVE A DATE AFT SKOOL TODAY!! NO I DO NOT!! So pls stop asking abt it or saying that i have a date. I just feel like it. SO i wear. I wear what i feel comfortable with and what i feel like. Aiight?? I dun kne why though, i feel happy and cheerful today so i feel like wearing it. Its nt always feel cheery and all smily the whole day. hahahkzzz...

Ok. So all u can see the pic rite? anywae, it was taken when my family wen to the zoo, recently.. a month of less back. i think.. Anywae... Isn't it cute? Well, Wen i see it.. it makes me feel happy and at times sad too. I miss all the times Me and my two elders sister and of coz my darling lil bro. Miss all the times we go out as a family, together wen we were abit smaller, go everywhere together, and of coz the times we go holiday as a family.. hahakss.. best.. WEll now most bz with husband or finance. But i am happy that they are happy with their lovers.

Another thingy abt this pic is that it jus shows tat animals are like us too.. hahakzzz isn't it cute. hahakzz. So Wat u guys think abt it??? tell me in the comment session aiight

Nari, me and my family pergi ke Kota Tinggi..
Bestnye.. tak terkate..
ade mat hesem.. haha.. tak ingin ku..
Hatiku terpikat pade mat delivery pizza..
tapi kan ku tak perah jumpe die..
Dari gambar je..
But, bile bebual dgn die..
he seems.. so sweet and nice...
Hope he likes me too..

Anyway..
Airnye sejuk ampai ke tulang..
tapi..
Tiada kata yg dapat ku kata kan..
Untuk describe ketenangan ye..
Airnya yg sejuk, pemandagan lak best..
tenang sekali jiwa..
it feels so good..
Tapi bile kuar aje dari air tu..
SIaplah..
Mengigil..Sejuk...
Da tu, dgn ribut2 org-org ni..
Hilanglah ketenangan yg ku sangat hargai,
Hanya sebuah gambar aje lah dapat ku kenang..
Saat-saat tenteram di sane..
This picture is nice rite.. love it alot..
hope u guys love it too..
other pics taken from Kota Tinggi will be up soon.

Thanks to all that layan my karut nari..
but hey i love tis pic..
PICTURE PREFECT!!!

Sejak kebelakangan ni..
Hidupku menjadi semakin sunyi..
entah mangapa,
Kadang-kadang itu,
ku rasa seperti dunia ini,
Membenci diriku ini..
Adakala pula,
Ku rasa semua nye tidak menentu,
Semuanye seperti huru-hara..
entah mengapa,
Ku rasa kehilangan..
Munkin ku tahu kenapa..
munkin kerana sejak kebelakangan ini,
Ada daripade kawanku, terlalu sibuk..
Ada pula dari org-org yg ku harapkan kasih syg,
Menipu ku..
Penipuan yg mengbangkitkan memori..
Memori yg sudah lama ku kunci ke tepi..
Munkin ku terlalu fikirkan kisah lame..
Ataupun ku Tak dapat menmaafkan mereka..
mereka yg sudah dekat di hati,
Tapi rupanye PEnipu besar..
Ada pula antara mereka,
Tidak menerima aku untuk aku,
Diri ku..
Apakah Buruk diriku ini??
Apakah silap diri ini??

Namun,
Hidup ini harus ku lalui..
Sudah tiba Masa nya ku pergi..
Pergi jauh dari org-org itu,
Dan pergi Mencari teman yg Baru,
seseorg yg ikhlas nye menerima aku..
Menerima aku sebagai aku..
Siapakah yg Dapat menerima,
aku sebagai aku..
SIapa?????

Origally made by = di reka original oleh :
devilgal wai aka waidah