<~~~ Devilaid's Inner Side ~~~>

Well, raye lagi la kite kan... haiz... This yr raye is simple... tho aku puase sebula tkde lepas... tak la dlm raye mood nah pun... and on top of it all, wed raye, thurs sch, fri da start sakit, sat tak le bgn terus, sun gets worse but still kene go werk, mon kene go doc (damn i hate going to see doc!! ).... i gotten 2 days mc, doc say i need rest, and i cant talk much so she give me two days mc, saying u cant talk anywae so u rest at home. Its coz of my throat la kan... it jus get worse... And coughing like one mad dog makes it all worse la kan... Haiz... thos rp doesn't really use these mc's...i guess i stay home on tues too... i cant talk anywae... my throat really bad la... u guys shld hear my voice now... totally off la... then it dissappear!! hahahakkzz.... damn... pain sak!!!!!

Then this morning waking up with the pain in my head and throat with a running nose (i become like the red nose raindeer... haha )... a big.. as ina size of my palm, butterfly, very pretty tho... flew into my house... so the lawa la!!! haha.... then in landed on the tv... resting there..... and ard there.. till like an hour after that than it flew away... so the shocking... haha... seldom see butterfly near flats anymore... so so the few... haha... not few.. there isn't any.... hahakkzz... (trying to cheer myself up by laughing like this.. reality check : not laughing... but feeling tribble still... my throat hurts damn badly la.... )

I don really knw wat to state next... i think i going to sleep again... the midication makes me sleepy tho... haizz..... k la.. bye ppl!!!

 

**  SELAMAT HARI RAYE.... WAIDAH DI SINI MINTA AMPON & MAAF KALAU ADE SALAH SILAP.... MAKLUM LA WAIDAH INI HANYA INSAN BIASA YG TIDAK LEPAS DARI SALAH & SILAP.... **

I'm in class,

N i am super bored...

Then i decided to blog hop, friendster hop...

Hop, Hop, Hop....

I Saw an Familiar profile...

Damn i hate that mother fucker...

Its matches the start of ur name... F...

F for Fucker....

 

You know wat....

I wish ur new gal cheats on u...

I wish u suffer in the relationship...

I wish u would never be happy...

Ever...

I may be bad....

But its all ur fault....

If Cursing u makes me a bad gal...

Then Let It be...

At least i am not like u....

At least i dun cheat n make ppl suffer like wat u did to me...

It may be over long time ago..

Months n Months over.....

 

But trust me....

I'll curse ur whole life...

For wat u did to me...

Is...

Unforgiven.......

Well, mum been complaining since yesterday well not reall yesterday but today morning... Saying that on the morning of today, mon, got someone call at ard 3++ am!!! Home fon....WAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!! She say maybe tat someone is looking for me since whenever she pick up, he caller put down the fon as soon after the caller hear her voice.... WAT THE HELL!!!! WHO IS TAT FUCKER!!!!!!

 

** to all m friends... those who looking for me or such, dun do this.. call my hp or leave a msg via hp, msn, email, friendster or wat ever shit.... If u docall home... just leaave a msg and do talk wen someone pick up k...dun make me get into trouble.... if u do.. screw u...

Well, The day i wen swensen for lil bro bdae.... I got to eat my Fav Ice cream Thingy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BANANA SPLIT.......

Swensens makes good banana split... hehe... i love it alot seh... i really do.. haha.. even if i tried some other type of ice cream there... i still like the banana split.. i got this liking for banana split...

~~* Takes My Heart Away.... *~~

ON the 16th, there is two Bdae, one turned 11, which is my darling lil bro... the other turn....19, which is a nice shortie guy...haha... oppss... hehe....

Anywae, i bought a book for my lil bro.. haha.. i told him he should thank me.. and he did.. then i ask him, where my kiss?? haha.. and he give wet kiss and nearly bite my cheek!!!! Very bad...Now big alreadyso ignor the sis huh..., mum and akak ayu bring me and lil bro makan ice cream at swensen...wooo yum yum...haha... he was like happy giler la.... i guess he just really want to eat ice cream at somewhere so called more grand...Glad that he was happy tho... i still remember when he was so little... kiss him alot hug him toss him... notty boi... but hugable and kissable.. but now.. haha... better dun even get close to him.. hahaha..... Then after that, ard 9+ - ard 10....my 2nd sis future husband bought KFC and cakke... haha... not much of a big celebration.. just wanna make him see that we care n lve him so much.....

 

All he wanted is this ice cream!! its like i can put this together myself, just buy tubs of different flavour.. so odd.. i guess eating there make it a wonderful time spent...

 

Just a simple cake.. but thanks to 2nd sis n her future husband... and Thanks for the KFC.. haha

Well, even after the 16th days of fasting, things are still not even halfway done. Like my family have not odered our cakes and stuff, and if its this late, i don' t think my aunt will accept. Wonder how...Then haven't really clean the house, haven't clean the windows and all.. haha... i'm schooling and all, waking up 3 am all the time and all, really getting too tired to do anything else tho... My neck, shoulders and back is aching...

But good news is that one of the days me n my sis have made some cookies... haha chocolate too... haha.

Cookies fors Raye... Made 3 bottles but ! had finish.. haha... since its chocolate coated cornflakes... every1 loves it... Taste great.. haha...

hehe...Served with colored rice toppings... HeHE.. wai can open chocolate shop!!! hehe....

 

PLain simple chocolate... Cute patterns thoo...

 

Lastly has choco rice at their bottoms...They taste nice too u know... Very chocolaty!!! haha......that why some when missing... haha

 

Chocolate cheers me up tho... haiz...I feel bored in class... These few days i can't werk... i really can't... i just feel.. so so the shit up... haiyo..... wats wrong.. i have no idea... somebody save me...............................................................

 

 

SO yesterdays i mention that i went out for break fast with the crew, or in which the few closest people fto me rom Rp...We grew closer to each other from the time we gotten to know, in which @ the SAS FOP 07... So we have been close since... breakfast, lunch, dinner, go sch, go home... all together.. haha....

Anywae, this is just to add on to yesterday's entry... Chao!!

Well, today, like i said i went to breakfast so called with the gang...The very first few people that i meet in Rp...HAHA... so.. it was, me, Ros, Ahmad, Mar, Najib, Khai, Su, and of course not forgetting Rid, in which i got to know from Sas Fop Camp 08, not from the first batch like the rest, but we have gotten to be godd friends, maybe i am not his best friend but a good firend. Hehe...It was fun.. haha... Khai, being the joker... And well, all of us are like jokers on and off. Catching up on eah other's life, remebering the old memories, forgeting our fights and of course, a beinging of a new memory...It was so fun.. haha...

Then in between i got time to listen to someone's problem, and another's past. Well, thing happen.. all i got to say, let just take our time , slow down, and try to move on and be try to make situation better.. In life at times, thing happen, sometime it doesn't have a clear cut reason why it happen. but then stuff still happen. We try improve ourself wen we know we are a wrong. At time me just try n try to make thing better even when its not our fault. But at times we do fail, and things didn't go the way we wanted, if that happens, all we should do is, stop, take it slow, and let things just flow for a moment....At times, that's wat i think is the best thing to do. So to the friend, or friends who having kinda problems.. hey, take it slow k, dun rush. Things will be just fine k..l Wat ever happens, hey, u know there is people like me n the rest who still care.

Haiz... so the bored. My first sis bought a bag, in which she use only once, and decided she wanna sell it to my 2nd sis coz it doesn't suit her or something.. haha weird.. she buy, then she sell to 2nd sis, 2nd sis buy at a cheaper price from 1st sis and then lent to me.. haha.. weird huh... haha...

Ouh n next week, my lil bro birthday!!! ouh n rasyid too.. same date.. haha... weird...i bought him a gift, its a book, true singapore ghost storie 18, lastest one i think. i know he like to read that. Btw i wanted to read it too. So i tot i bought it for him. Haha.. wanted to read it first but it be rude of me. So i guess, i wrapped it up, and give it to him first then ask if he could lent it to me after he finish reading it. I am sure he dun really mind.. haha..It be like so the weird for me to be buying him a bdae present. Using My own werk money.. haha.. He is my lil bro after all, i do love him. He is like the last one i got. As in, it be just me and him n mum after 1st n 2nd sis marry. I wanna see him success in his life. It will make me proud even if he may hate me for being naggy and fierce wen i am teaching him... its ok.. Coz he is my lil bro.. love him no matter wat.. wanted to make a card for him... hmm.. wat should i write?? haha... weird seh.. haha!!

As i lay down, chill in my bed. I was kinda thinking back. I felt lonely lately.. With my can't sleep...haiz.. it gets too lonely. But its ok tho.. haha.. used to it.. Just the fact that i can't sleep much bothers me.. haiz... tiring.. Gotten to chit chat with Blake just now.. so good. its been a while since we last chatted, he was an friend from U.S... just an online friend.. just tat, we got to let everything out... haha get advice n such.. Easire this way... u dun need to worry abt hurting him or such.. coz he damn far away la..hahaha......haha we tell each other who we like or wat so ever n such... so he been busy and so was i.. time difference and all so  just now then we got to chit chat again. Like chatting up n catching up wit an old friend. haha...so the fun... Now, i guess i try n get some sleep....Nytes Ppl!!!!!!......

 

-= DeviLAid =-

Haven't been bloggin lately...Well, just plain lazy. Anywaes, life isn't that much exciting. Well, at least my life is not. Nothing much...Lets see, holidays was ok, i got to get to do my PP, then i work a lil bit more than usual, then the rest i was plainly at home. I got to cook, help ard, spent more time with the family. If not for doing all that, i probably be sleeping or jus lazying ard at home.. but i guess, its fine. At least i got enough sleep! like these few days.. DAMN! the word sleep is like a stanger... i dun get enough.. at times i cld sleep like wat, an hour the wake up... if not, worse, every 10 mins or so, i wake up!! shitto....

Then, begining of the new term, is the month of Ramadan. Fasting month!! hehe... routine for daily ramadan...

3 am : Wake up n cook

4 am: Wake the rest up to eat...

4.30 - 5 am : Clean the kitchen...

5 am - 6 am : Get some sleep... if i cld!!

6 am : Wake lil bro up for sch... + morning prayer...

6.30 am : lazy ard abit / sleep...

7 am : Prepare for sch...

8.30 am : Class starts!!

4 - 4.30 pm : Class end!!

6 pm : should have reach home. Prepare for break fast...

7 pm : near break fast..

8 pm and above... : should just try n doze off.. though i cant at times.. Then the cycle repeats..

Though, today there will be a slight change. I am gonna break fast with the crew today. The crew should be as follows, me, ros, ahmad, mar, najib, khai, farah, and rid ouh n i almost forget...Su..i think he is coming along too. Dun mind tho...It will be fun to break fast with them. We use to be so close. They are like the first group of ppl i get to know in RP.. In which are my close currently and i guess it will stay tat way.

Arrrggghhh!!! today problem really... really straessful!! damn.. Headache again.. shitto... i'll continue bloggin later...Chao!!

MY Professional Profile report is ACCEPTED!!!!!

YEAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next stage......
THE PRESENTATION N POSTER....


GO WAWAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is being the same as ever.. a lil bored now and then, and such. Sch pp/project is still not done.. damn i am done for!!! haha... it will turned out fine in the end.. no worries. Worrying makes me have migraine again...

Yesterday, was wed, no sch!!! woke up ard 1pm haha... talk2 with mum... then jus chill, watch cd... then ard 7 had to send my lil bro to tuition ard admiralty area. So decided to meet yanty while waiting for my bro for like 2hr 30min tuition... so yeay!! haha... was great hanging out wit her again... while waitin for her, someone Called!!!!!!!!! hehe... it made me really smile la.... dun know whhy... haha...

It was my 1st ex... u know wat..the first time i was with him tak ampai bape hari... coz we never talk!! haha.... we like strangers wen walkin together... so yeah.. so then kat ard sec 4 aru contact alik... patch then break... patch break.. but we still kawan ah close.. coz he n me.. never really gaduh... hehe pelik seh.. he never call or sms unless i sms him.. Unlike wen were together la kan... hehe.. so it was so the pelik... but hehe it made my day! made me really happy. i think its coz we are friends and he is such a nice guy. but too bad we not together anymore. i dun mind tho. we both got alot of responsibility to our family and wat we want to achieve. That y we separated. we jus wont have time. haha... but its cool tho.. so it was fine... so nice to hear from him.. haha.... hehe.... terbiat....

Anywae... haha just tot i share it since it made happpy.. i guess sometimes even a simple fon call from a friend cld make u smile.. hehe.... Like since lately i been feelin a lil stress out n such rite.. he knoes... so he call to jus say hi and all... so its fine... made my day!!! Even he dun know i blog this... he dun know my blog or msn... haha so ok la kan.. But THANKS An for making my dae!!!!

haha bye ppl!! till next time....

Beneath these cheerful smiles,

Not one realize.

How much pain lies in the smile...

All the masked smiles,

All the forceful torturing smiles and laughter...

Not one, Not one realizes...

 

Beneath these bright clear eyes,

Yet again, Not one realize.

How much tears it sheds...

All the holding back and unseen flow of tears....

All the pain n fears it sees n felt...

Not one, Not one ever realizes...

 

Beneath the dark blue gloomy night sky,

Still with no one realizing it...

I am left alone...

The lonely, lifeless feeling I got...

The feeling that no one know the real me...

Till the moment i lost myself,

Not one, Still no one realizes....

 

Beneath the same dark sky,

I Question myself,

If...Anyone would ever realize the torture i was forced to smile with.

If...Anyone could sees n feel the pain n fears i sees.

If...Anyone would ever realize i need someone there.

If...anyone could realize i need unleashed the real me...

If...Anyone would realize i need to find myself,

To leave this darkness of loneliness and pain...

Will anyone ever Realize???

Damn... i feel so stress...now.. in class... Jus now, roru said i am an owl... U wanna know why... coz i didn't sleep yesterday...sleep at ard 6am... wake up ard 30mins after that.. haha!! By now u guys shld have guess... that i am super bored, i dun understand a shito... and i dun know wat gonna happen...Damn seh... stesss stresss.... how how how.....Mind not working, not getting anything... nothing at all!!!! i dun know! a thing....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHITO...

Its 2:11 am, I really am tired, but i just can't seem to fall asleep peacefully. When i could fall asleep, i would then woken up a minutes after that. It became a lil stressful. It has been on for the past few days. Wonder wats wrong now. So today, i tried to sleep, but then i can't so i given up, so decided to just open my lappy, see wat i cld do. Oh well... But i seem to like lost interest in everything i do. I wanted to do my PP, but i just can't do it. Part of me is tired, but since i can't sleep, it explain why i can't seem to do anything.

Don't you think people can be so complicated at times...Like this person, seem so nice to me, talk to me from time to time. Then, to me if u are friends, you shld know that we can't be msging everyday. Its logical right. We all are busy with our own life... Then suddely a msg comes up... saying something that i never did do... saying i only msg the person if i need something. Well, mum tot me never depend on people... and so it becomes me, i never like depending on people... i dun ask for anything from anyone. Never expect any help from anyone too. The person know that and shitty said tat in the msg... i was like furious.. keep it out of my mind... damn... sometimes i wonder why people like tat... funk u know me... and u said tat... freak... u FUCKING SHIT!!!!... MOTHER FUCKING SHIT U!!!... really SIALANZZZzzzz kau... mati tak nak pe!!!...I don't need poeple to fuck up my life coz i think it is already shit up...And if U think i am that bad... DAmn then FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE K.... THIS GOES TO ALL OUT THERE WHO KNOWS ME... IF U THINK I AM BEING UR FRIEND COZ I WANT SOMETHING FROM U... THEN JOLLY WELL FUCK OFF.... i become someone friend coz i just feel like, coz i tresure the friendship we make...coz i never tot u would stab my back...coz i wanna be there for u ppl... not coz of fame( if u think u are that famous or popular..) Not coz of money (i dun think money make the world go round) Not coz of anything... i just like being ppl friends...friendship is something u treasure, all the momentu were there for ur friend, all the time u spent laughing or even crying, out if stress, pain or anything... knowing someone is there for u too.... tat is just it...

i guess it explains why i only hand out with few ppl...cox there is ppl tat is just damn complicated and crazy!!

HAIZzzzz.....

My view on myself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of boyfriend am i looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

My readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of my love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

My views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for me:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do i view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are my most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is my true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

Basically, i took this personality test, posted by AHMAD in his bloggy. So i tried, and This is the result... Sruprisingly, most parts are true...i post the link later... kinda lost it.. haha... So, see how well u know me... if u cld identify which is true that is.... haha!!

Lately alot had been happening. And when i say alot, it does mean alot. Lets see.. Here is the list :-

- PP ( professional profiling  my sch project ) not done...

- Sch fees transation not ok...

- chosing modules for next sem ( to go for advance diploma or not?? )

- Then a friend who wen overseas for work is currently unreachable... so miss the person...

- Then, some more money bill problems...

- Then this month never get pay...Shitty...

- Worried if my coming pay (in July stupid seh...) would be enough or not... damn it...

Well, i guess basically that is the most of the things in my mind currently.  There is also other things like worrying about my grade... About the bills...i jus don't want my family to pay for the shit mistake i did... so that why i am stressing myself so much to find money... but u know la.. its not easy... Its the reason why i start working...Haiyo.. So the stressful at times...Especially wen ur best fren always bz... ur close fren at times bz.. and u dun want to stress them much.. and to say that i think i only ahave ard four close/best fren... roru, ahamad, mar, najibul, yanty... haha... Well...even tho they are bz, its ok.. coz i still have them to go to at times.. jus that i rather leave them alone.. i be ok.. but there is also some ppl... like..someone.. who chat wth me in msn la kan... i tell him my problems and stress at times.. he seems nice...haha.. then wat.. well... life have to go on tho.. i dun like to make ppl suffer. Especially the family... that y i am trying to make uo for my mistake... haiz... hope god is on my side... haiz... lost abit at times...

Frankly, i am not sure what they mean by digital drawing.. I think it's those that u didn't draw it by hand but use of digital media... Well... so i think this is one.. well hell i do not know... but anywaes.. lets get back to this...

It was one of the day, well, not today... the one who reads up blog frequently or my friends, shld know that i do not update my blog every single day... So, it was those days that i feel down, shit up, alone, sick of life and all..Hence, this came up. Well, its amazing what ur computers and laptops and all the programs could do... Well, anywae, i was feelin shit... so yea.. i came up wit these... its wat i do. To calm myself down, i draw or paint, but since i cant do that when i am in sch or for some other reason, i do it in my laptop. It doesn't calm me down as much but i guess it helps abit.

So anywae.. i like the feelin wen we are on the swing... damn i was a child the last time i had the feeling... Freely swing away...Even if at the other side of the world or even other side of me is in chaos... Who the hell cares... the freeness... the feelin of nothing to care about in the world...  The wind in ur hair... The whooosssshhh feeling when it goes down... and up again... haha... damn i miss that feeling... but now.. all is felt is empty, alone.... What i feel these days... is the pic u see here.... The color... the empty swing... the chaos... the building ... Tell me what u think....

In my 19 years of life... i cld never undestand one thing.. Why people that at a point of time meant alot to u, cld gone or walk away jus like tat. As though u never know them.. As though they don't know tat at tat particular point of time of ur life, they actually meant alot to u...

Have u ever wonder why?? Well, if u don, i guess i have and always will be.. Or have u ever wonder if u ever had done it to someone.. I haven't but i wonder how they feel... Do they walk out jus like tat witout guilt?? Or do they feel guilty but never cld go back?? Or they jus enjoy making ppl suffer...?? Wat is it?? i wonder...

Its always a wonder...Maybe they don feel how it is felt to have someone tat meant alot to u to jus walk away or dissappear jus like tat.. It suck... It feels like shit... It feels like the whole world abandon u.. It feels BETRAYED!!!! Damn Fucking Shit Up BETRAYED!!! Wanna know why..?? coz the person who u tot wld be there for u.. who at the point of time means something to u.. who at tat time make u feel tat there is something nice to look forward to in life wen everything i shit up.. jus walk away.. or jus dissappear... imagine the ones who mean alot jus dissappear or walk out of ur life... GOd.. even a loner or jus some ppl, who are disable or wat so ever knows how it feels la.. even ur pet knows how it feels la.... BETRAYED!!!!! fucking shit BETRAYED!!!

Haiz...still dun understand why some of these ppl jus walk away or dissappear jus like tat... its like u come, u be for tat person.. be his or her backbone..help in al u can, promise tis n tat... than u walk away... its like the same like u come to the restaurant, ask for the waiter.. get a conversation with him or her.. saying all kinds of things.. making the waiter trust tat u are gonna order some fancy shit, then u tell the waiter... ok i need to think wat to eat.. there is like a whole lots of stuff.. i cant decide... waiter say ok.. then in a while.. u walk off.. just like tat.. the waiter than was shock.. and say.. fuck tat customer sah.. this n tat.. last walk off never buy anything.. two-faced-pain-in-the-ass...

So... if anyone would like to answer or debate or give ur opinion.. jus go ahead k.. would love to hear from other ppl point of view.. Why do ppl cld jus walk away frm our life.. jus like tat... why?? how cld they??? how???

Well, do not really knows the history behind vesak dae, but hey, its a public holidae...haha.. well.. basically..spent the day at home...doing alot of stuff... well not tat alot but.. but yeah...

In the morning.. not exactly morning wen i woke up.. was like noon la.. da ptg la sei... hahaha.. Wake up, seeing my cousin jus came back from bangkok/thailand. Bought me t shirt.. nice la sei.. haha. And 2 key chains, one is elephant, the other one is a kid looking small doll, wearing a tradisional clothing..their tradisional clothing la.. was cute...

Then followed mum to Cwp.. she want to buy some stuff in cold storage.. Tot she wanted to cook the normal stuff...followed her ard.. then come back.. she cook chicken rice.l the sambal was like power la... Go MummY!!... haha.. By then, i think she metion to me like 3 times already tat she wanted to see the movie congkak...

Aft she cook and all.. she quickly sit at the living room's sofa.. wanna know why... haha coz there was a scary story.. hahaha.. she was like concentrating and watching it la.. while i clean up the last bits aft she cooked.. haha no big deal anywae..

Then... aft we sit and watch several stories, se told me to get up and help her clean up the storeroom!!! damn.. seriously.. there was like a tonns of stuff la inside...so we took quite a while to clean i up.. aft clean up, and throwing the rubbish and all... i wen to mum's room since she was like lying down.. i lie down beside her.. and fallen asleep... hehe.. tired la sei...By this time.. its like alot of times already tat she mention to me tat she want to see the movie..

I sleep abt.. not more than an hour.. i think.. then my cousin ask me to follow her go take the pics she sent for printing at one of the Cwp photo shop... then mum ask to do some checking stuff.. then ask me to get money n buy tickets to watch the movie..

Then.. its the 9.55pm show.. cousin have to head home.. so its jus my 2nd sis, lil bro, mum dad n me... the sotry was like keep making us shoock... if got heart attack can die... haha... was and enjoying dae aftall... haha..at least somehing...

At times when i pause and jus keep to my own mind, in a way jus sit and kept quite and jus reflect what ever i felt like in my own mind and heart....At times it ends with me feeling lost and confused, or sometimes jus blur, while at other times i jus felt sad and lonely.. Maybe its just typical..Or maybe its not.. Maybe i am disturbed, maybe i am not..Maybe i am jus disturbed by the past..Or even the present..

At times, as i look ard me.. seeing the ppl ard me, alot went thru the mind. Sometimes wen i see ppl ard me so happily laughing, i wonder wat makes them so happy. Somtimes it makes me wonder how ppl could be so happy at times, without realising someone close to them is suffering in some other ways. Then wen i see a mum and her childrens, i like to see the reactions between the kid and them. See how they response to watever their mum told or talked to them abt. Alot then came across the mind. Like wen i see mum saying or telling something to the kid, and the kid react like he doesn't care or in a bad way..i wonder why we kids do that sometimes.. Thinking back, i woder how many times i hated my mum naggings...but then as my life past by..realising how much she have scacrifice for us, how much she she forgiven us or not..how much she say alot of stuff tat is good for us but we hate it when she told us that wat we do is wrong.. Then after everything.. i realise, no matter how much she may hate wat i do.. or no matter if she would throw me out for wat ever reason ( touch wood, I never done anything wrong..) no matter how much she may hate me.. I on the other hand would always treasure her.. for all tat she done.. for all...

At times, when i see ppl...i feel irritated by the way they treat others or even me.. Like the times wen u are like being ignored, or being treated as if u are never there wen u are actually part of the team. Like in sch, its suposed to be a grp werk, then they like say its ok.. jus read the on the stuff i do the ppt... i know its easier.. but i feel tat i not doing anything.. it piss me off.. The fact that i feel tat i am like not doing anything and all piss me off.. Coz i feel tat i am not contributed and on top of tat it really make me feel lost.. i know u guys are fast learners and all that.. but i am not.. sorrie i am like this.. but seriously ppl..let me know wat u ppl doing...Then at times wen i see ppl treating their so called love ones like.. like their dog, must follow every single thing they say, i feel sad for the person, pity the person for always having to do watever they are told.. While at times i saw who shout at their gf in the middle of the world, i feel really angry, even if u are angry and even if ther gal do something wrong, can't u guys settle it in private... are u guys so damn shameless??!! for goodness sake every1 would be staring guys.. i know its ur own fucking buiseness la.. but common la.. no shame? And pls.. mind the ppl ard la.. it disturb the peace of others k.. especially those malay couples.. act like they are so big shot like tat... if u not shame.. we malays feel every shameful tat such ppl exsist in our community.. we are usually related to good cultured community..

Of course.. there is alot of stuff that i saw.. for now.. i think i could only saw this much...Till next time...

-= DeviLAid =-